You hold the Desire Card in your hand. Can it really deliver the one thing that you desperately desire? The one thing that has eluded you for so long?
You have the money, but do you have the courage to go through with it?
There is only one way to find out. Taking a deep breath you press the button on the card.
“What is your desire?”
The voice on the end of the line is distorted and crackles with static.
“What is your desire?” it repeats in the same monotone drone.
You hesitate, not sure anymore that you want the one thing that you truly desire.
“What is you desire?”
Your mouth goes dry as you try to form the words, “I…. I desire… “
The person on the other end sighs, the sound coming out as a static hiss.
“What do you desire?”
You close you eyes and summon the courage to speak: “I… I desire… a blurb!”
‘Any wish fulfilled for the right price. That’s the promise the organization behind The Desire Card gives to its elite clients – but sometimes the price may be more menacing than anyone could ever imagine.
Harrison Stockton has lived an adult life of privilege and excess: a high-powered job on Wall Street fuels his fondness for alcohol and pills at the expense of a family he has no time for. Quite suddenly all of this comes crashing to a halt when he loses his job and at the same time discovers he almost certainly has only months left to live.
Desperate, and with seemingly nowhere else left to turn, Harrison activates his Desire Card. What follows is a gritty and gripping quest that takes him from New York City to the slums of Mumbai and forces him to take chances, and make decisions, he never thought he’d ever have to face. When his moral descent threatens his wife and children, Harrison must decide whether to save himself at any cost, or do what’s right and break his bargain with the mysterious group behind The Desire Card.‘
Is it a bird? Is it a plane?
No, of course not, silly… it’s a blurb, with its undergarments on the outside and wearing a cape admittedly, but a blurb all the same:
“Batman schmatman, there’s a new hero in town and he’s kinda dorky…
Kirby Baxter went to Omnicon for the cosplay, the comics and the collectibles.
No-one was supposed to get murdered.
Get ready for a whole new kind of crime novel. The Dork Knights are rising and Kirby Baxter and his friends are putting the nerd firmly into noir.
Its all fun and costume changes at OmniCon until schlock horror superstar Erica Glass turns up dead. Fresh from a mysterious adventure in Lichtenstein Kirby Baxter soon finds himself up to his geeky neck in a deadly murder mystery.
Kirby must deploy his unique skills of deduction and detection before the body count rises and ruins OmniCon for everyone.“
Good day to you all and welcome to Day 22 of #Fahrenbruary. Today is a special day as once again I present to you two posts from Saira Viola – the ‘Punk Princess Od Noir’ – author of ‘Jukebox‘ and ‘Crack Apple & Pop‘, both published by Fahrenheit 13 (click on the titles for my reviews).
Saira is not only an author, but also a renowned poet and she has kindly allowed me to reproduce two here on my beardy blog.
As with her longer fiction, Saira pulls no punches, casting her cutting glare across the social, sexual, cultural and political landscapes of our society.
Enjoy. TBBB X
It’s Day 22 of #Fahrenbruary. How did that happen? This month long celebration of all things Fahrenheit Press and Fahrenheit 13 thunders on and today I bring you a Q&A with the ‘Punk Princess Of Noir’ herself Saira Viola.
Saira is a poet, song lyricist, playwright and novelist who’s first two books “Jukebox” and “Crack Apple & Pop” are published by Fahrenheit 13. You can find my reviews of each down there:
Both books are fast paced, gritty, dark and blackly humorous slices of noir that feature a vast and eclectic mix of characters set in the underworld of London. They are both excellent and well worth checking out.
Saira is currently beavering away on her third novel set in LA.
So, on to the Q&A.
Enjoy TBBB. X
Hello once again.
It is with great pleasure that I present to you all Part Two of Day 21 of #Fahrenbruary and our second short story from Saira Viola: Circling The Drain.
It is of course entirely possible that you missed Part One of Day 21, and if that is indeed the case, please have a look at what you missed via this handy link here:
All caught up? Splendid stuff 😃
CTD: Circling The Drain is yet another hard hitting story from the ‘Punk Princess of Noir’. Saira doesn’t pull her punches in her fiction, and CTD is no exception. Dutchie and Ich are two young homeless people trying to eke out a miserable existence on the streets of London: She a part-time flower arranger and coke addict, he a petty thief peddling his wares to whomever will buy them. An opportunity comes their way via a shifty guy named ‘Zipmouth’, but is this opportunity too good to be true?
Well, coming from a guy called ‘Zipmouth’, I would say it’s highly likely, wouldn’t you? 😅
CTD is also a barbed commentary on the plight of the homeless in our cities and pulls back the veil on a particularly nasty and repellent, but sadly very real, underground racket.
Coming up for Day 22 of Fahrenbruary I present a Q&A from Saira and two short poems.
See you then.
Enjoy. TBBB X
Goodness to gracious me, is it Day 21 of #Fahrenbruary already? How can that possibly be? It seems like only yesterday that I was sat at me desk in my comfy pants writing my first post and getting all excited for the month to come. Now look at us – only 7 days to go.
That’s nuts that is.
So what have I got for you today then, I hear you ask? Well…
Today I bring you TWO short stories from the ‘Punk Princess of Noir’ herself, Saira Viola.
First up is Horizontal Vertical.
This short story pulls no punches. It’s a hard-hitting, fast, sexy and dark tale: Kiki is a woman forced to work four jobs and turn tricks to keep herself afloat in a seedy world. Her life is a downward spiral of drugs, booze and sex. She’s had enough, but is she willing to commit murder to get herself out?
Saira is also the author of two brilliant books published by Fahrenheit 13: Jukebox and Crack Apple & Pop. You can read my reviews of each by clicking those little linky-poos below…
Tomorrow I bring you further 2-4-1 treats in the form of a Q&A and two new poems.
Wowsers Trousers, it don’t get much better than this, FahrenFans 😍
So pour yourself a coffee, or tea – mix a smoothie if you prefer, I don’t mind – pull up a chair, settle down and enjoy the first of todays posts from Saira. The second story, Circling The Drain will be up later today.
Enjoy. TBBB X
Hello you yummy scrummy people and welcome to my beardy blog for what is Day 20 of #Fahrenbruary. If this is your very first visit to my blog, and you are unaware of what the aforementioned #Fahrenbruary is, then here is a very handy link to help clarify a few things:
Wasn’t that splendid? It really is a marvellous post, so if you skipped it and figured you’d come back to it later, may I suggest that you make a note on scrap of paper so you don’t forget. You really will kick yourself if you do.
So, I’m going to take an educated guess that you are here to read my brand new, never seen before, review of Saira Viola’s debut novel ‘Jukebox‘?
What’s that? You were looking for recipe suggestions for cooking a duck? How the hell did you end up here then? Well, seeing as you are here, I suggest that you just stuff it and stick it in the oven. It’s just a bird after all – like a floating chicken – how hard can it be? I reckon, 180°C/Gas Mark 4, for about 90 mins or so? Maybe cover it in foil and remove for the last 30 mins? Poke a skewer into the leg to check it’s cooked thoroughly; juices clear and all that. I have no idea if all of that’ll work, but I’m sure I saw it on TV somewhere.
Whilst you’re waiting for your duck to cook you may as well stay and read my review. It’ll pass the time and you may discover your new favourite author.
You will? Oh, I am pleased. *happy face*
As this is Fahrenbruary, Saira has also kindly provided us all with an audio extract of herself reading from Jukebox. I know right, how exciting is that, eh? You can find that at the end of the review.
So, without further ado, lets have us some blurb:
“Nick Stringer is a rookie lawyer but what he really wants is to run his own record label. His dream seems one step closer when old family friend and businessman Mel Greenberg offers to bankroll him.
Avery Cross is a junior reporter desperately searching for the story that’s going to make her name. Avery thinks there’s more to Mel Greenberg than meets the eye and that uncovering the truth about him might just be her ticket to the big time.
Nick, Mel and Avery’s lives converge against the backdrop of London’s underworld where glamour, crime & greed party side by side. It doesn’t take long before Nick begins to realise that if an offer looks too good to be true it probably is.
In a city rocked by corruption and excess, one of them is going to learn that sometimes in life you get more than you bargained for.
Jukebox is Saira Viola’s brilliant full-length debut novel.”
A multitude of salutations to you all on this the 19th Day of #Fahrenbruary 😍
If you have been following along with this month long celebration of all things Fahrenheit Press and Fahrenheit 13, you will have been privy to many different authors and their works and today I highlight yet another: Saira Viola.
Saira has been described as the “Punk Rock Princess of Noir” by no less than Fahrenheit themselves on her Twitter bio, and they ain’t wrong. Saira has released two novels through Fahrenheit 13: Jukebox and Crack, Apple & Pop. Both of these are punchy, no nonsense, hard hitting tales of crime, corruption, greed, extortion and murder on the streets of London. They are fast paced and are populated with wild, crazy and incredibly colourful characters that linger on in your memory long after you’ve closed the book. Saira also writes in a style that is pretty well unique to her; her prose dances across the page reading like poetry in parts, whilst in others is barely allows you to pause for breath.
Today I present to you a repost of my review of her second book, Crack, Apple & Pop. This review previously appeared on the CA&P blog tour organised by the brilliant Emma Welton of Damppebbles Blog Tours (you can find Emma on Twitter and on her blog damppebbles.com – just click away 😊).
Why am I reposting a review of her second book first? Simple really – because at time of writing I haven’t finished the review of Jukebox 😉 But fear not for that will appear on Day 20. Hurrah!
But that won’t be all from Saira, oh no! On Day 21 I shall be presenting not one, but two, short stories by Saira (Horizontal Vertical and CTD: Circling The Drain) plus an exclusive audio clip of Saira reading from one of them, and then, as if that wasn’t enough, on Day 22 I present to you my Q&A with Saira PLUS – I know, keep up at the back there – two short poems, too. Ooof, that’s a lot of Viola Love right there. But, you know what? She deserves it, and I hope that you will think so too. 😁
Okay, enough of the prittle prattle, let’s get on with the show.
Enjoy. TBBB X
Hello, hello, hello and hello! Welcome to the Beardy Book Blogger for Day 18 of #Fahrenbruary, the month long celebration of all things Fahrenheit Press and Fahrenheit 13. If you’re unaware of what the hell that is all about then here is a handy link to explain all:
Today I bring you a Q&A with Fahrenheit 13 author Graham Wynd. Graham is the brains behind the superb novella “Satan’s Sorority“; a dark, bloody, sex fuelled tale of control, lust for power, revenge, Satanic rituals and, well, more lust.
It’s great, great fun.
Here’s a bit of blurbage:
“In the fall of 1958 Sandra Delites is packed off to college in Connecticut after an ‘incident’ with another girl.
Her father thinks a small town university will be just the thing to straighten her out, only he hasn’t reckoned on the sisters of Sigma Tau Nu. Not just any sorority, their rites are bloody and the girls are hot – but not for the boys! President Trixie Faust sees a lot of potential in the newest pledge and Sandra is eager to learn: the thrill of the kill is just the beginning for these college girls gone wild.
Halloween will be extra scary this year. Forget black cats, you don’t want one of these sisters to cross your path.”
I posted a guest review of SS by the brilliant Matt Keyes for Day 16 of #Fahrenbruary and you can check that out HERE. You can also find a guest post written by Graham about the influences on the writing of SS… HERE
So, on to the Q&A: Take it away me and Graham…
Hello and welcome to my hairy blog. It is Day 17 of #Fahrenbruary.
Today I bring to you a guest post by none other than Graham Wynd, author of the devilishly gruesome and naughty novella, Satan’s Sorority. This is a fantastic story of sorority house, Sigma Tau Nu, and of the Satanically murderous antics of the girls who dwell there. You can find my repost of Matt Keyes excellent review HERE.
When I asked Graham to write me a guest post for Fahrenbruary he immediately agreed. Graham also kindly answered some questions for me and they will appear tomorrow on Day 18 😁
So sit back, chalk a pentagram upon the floor, speak in tongues and sacrifice the icon of your choosing, then cast your eyes downwards to see what inspired Graham to write Satan’s Sorority.
Enjoy. TBBB. X